you read?

You say I'm boring, you say i can only blog abt the past.
I'll tell you things you didn't know, maybe things you don't wanna know either.

It was a morning, a morning just like any other.
On the table was a plastic container, in the container was breakfast.
Across the table was better, it was someone beautiful.
The gentle morning rays lit up her face, the same way her smile always does
to hers as well as to mine.
A beautiful, complete morning, was one such as this.

After struggling in silent contemplation and planning, i opened the container smoothly
leaving no trace of my former ignorance.
I picked up the spoon, and dug it into the bowl of soy curd.
Looking up, she was messaging on the phone.
She turned just in time to catch me, again, mesmerised at her.
Picking up the other spoon from the blind corner of my eye, i raised it into view.
"You want?" i asked her, already knowing her answer.
But with regards to whether she noticed the second spoon, or was waiting for me to invite her,
I can't quite say anything for sure.
As her spoon, too, dug into the curd, she looks up and asked me.
Her words were a pleasant surprise
" So, do you feel loved?"
Her words were too pleasant a surprise.

At the very instance, i looked at her face.
She's smiling, she must mean it!
A torrent of thoughts and speculations clogged up my mind.
What's this? Is she hinting something with precise subtlety?
I felt my ears warming up, i was sure my face was already red.
My heart was racing and my head started to itch.
Immediately, my bones became as soft as the curd in the bowl.

Let me simplify. Is she finally telling me that she likes me, too?

As i swayed in disbelief of the inconvenient "truth", somehow my tongue lied.
But the lie was the truth, and i had been wrong.
"You're talking about my blog right?"
"Haha yeah!"

Her jovial, carefree laughter tore my dreams into pieces.
For awhile i felt like an idiot, then i really felt like i needed to swear.
But i didn't swear, no not here, not in front of her. NEVER.

I had experienced the greatest, most vivid anti-climax ever in my entire life.
Feeling dejected, I explained myself, shoving quick spoonful of rice balls and soy curd into my mouth.

Sometimes i ask, in a silly fashion.
Can't i just have a girlfriend like everyone else?

no, but you're not a christian.