-

because im doing something important tomorrow.
because i no longer need the sleep i've been missing.
because my life is continuously ruined in my hands.
because finally its time someone knew something again.

again again behind that thick masked facade.
yes, a masked facade.
a masked mask.

tomorrow's publicity. why am i getting so afraid?
at the same time. why am i feeling so... helpless...
God help me, God help me, i kept chanting in disbelief.

because i cant. i cant bring myself to believe.
i feel like...
i had fallen from God.

suddenly it makes sense.
why when i retreat from the bustle. all's left is a shell of nothingness.
the skies are all grey, its like im distanced.
nothing's real and tangible... i had faded into the background.

isit abt... O's?
could it be... that..
my 6th sense's divination.. has hit the spot?
i always guessed things right. my hunches never failed me.

is that why?
is that why im feeling so grounded, so stuck.
so miserable to totured.

no im sure. im sure i asked for it.

the phone rang. i had to remove that hoarse.
whats so unforgivable

what makes hope. literally fade away?
what can separate us from the love of God?

im rather convinced, we can.
i need the correct attitudes.
i dont want to PUT ON AN ACT!
DARN! i want to be TRUE
i WANT TO BE REAL
i DONT WANT TO BE BlABBERING MY BELIEFS
THINGS THAT I CANNOT EVEN FEEL.

WHATS THIS?
HAVE I BEEN NUMBING MYSELF?
DID I CAUSE MYSELF TO BE SO HARDENNED?

surely
the flame of the holyspirit and move this stubborn heart?
surely it can consume of hardest of diamonds?

why not me.
why not me?

please lead me home.
please, lead me home.

before dawn breaks.
lord may i be home,

sweet home...
the sky's only glowing redder.
the colours have yet to return?
the leaves have fallen.
only loneliness remains.

i've lost my compass,
i crucified my companion.

but magically...
somehow i always knew i'll be home..
im just a little... far away.
never too far.

now wheres the needle.
point, i will follow.

peace?