expectations

"I looked over to my wife while driving thinking what will I do without her. God you are awesome."

Saw this on facebook and it triggered a thought in me. We all live on expectations don't we? Like the person who posted this status, sure he just meant to be loving... but isn't it time to think about what he should really do when she's gone... unless he expects her to be around, in some sense, unless he expects that his looking at his wife while driving shall never be the trigger to a horrific accident. 

Similarly, we expect lots of things. When I was young I expected that my close kins will never die while I'm young... until my dad was diagnosed with a heart disease which can take his life anytime. As humans, we all expect ourselves to be defaulted to salvation as well. Not sure why. We expect to be saved so much so that we think that being predestined for hell means actively made to go to hell even if... we're on a natural trajectory into it ourselves. 

But I wonder if we can do without expectations, if we can live life considering, careful to not take anything for granted... do we then still harbour one other expectation? Even then we expect that we are able to consider everything that happens or concerns us.. and that's a very very gross expectation to make. 

But I guess I can work on something great, learning to not expect life itself. Learning to realise how we are sustained every passing moment by God's grace. 

Psalm 90
1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations.
2 Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the whole world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.


3 You turn people back to dust,
saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”
4 A thousand years in your sight
are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.
5 Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—
they are like the new grass of the morning:
6 In the morning it springs up new,
but by evening it is dry and withered.


7 We are consumed by your anger
and terrified by your indignation.
8 You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.
9 All our days pass away under your wrath;
we finish our years with a moan.
10 Our days may come to seventy years,
or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
11 If only we knew the power of your anger!
Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due.
12 Teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.


13 Relent, Lord! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.


17 May the favor[a] of the Lord our God rest on us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.

Well, thank God, He Himself considers all things sovereignly, nothing is for granted and without reason. All my days pass before You, teach me to number them that I too may gain a heart of wisdom. 

My heart fell a little when I read the message. Reality is finally setting in, and with it, recollections from the previous semester. 

With the tutorials flooding in to what is essentially an overload semester and what with the Inter-Neighbourhood Games trainings, we're really not having the time we were used to... time in the holidays. 

And I wondered how we did it last sem.. and it dawned on me that we didn't. Because... well, I definitely didn't study as hard as I should have at least. But I don't want you to think that I'm putting the blame on you. It's those moments of weakness you know, when I pick up a pen to get to work on my readings and my phone vibrates. I drop the pen and grab my phone and then... time just slips away. 

We can really do much better... we'll just find other ways to love one another. For instance, I should really start getting down to sending that snail mail. Hope all is well, we should just Skype more. 

But this is why I care

"Why are you delving into calvinism?" asked a friend.

"Don't you think it cripples your ability to evangelise, since you think that it's the election that counts?"

Well, it's odd that people go all evangelism on me when we talk about calvinism. To me, calvinism has always been about the benefit it brings to me as a believer, in knowing how exactly I came to Christ. Feel free to say that it's not important, that it's a peripheral pursuit that I should lay down.



http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-value-of-knowing-how-god-saved-you
Just read that if you have time to spare. 

Else, I have not attained it, but I think that if I grasp God's sovereignty in my life, I ought to become more evangelical, striving to see God's powerful exercising of His sovereignty over and over as sinners come to Him through Christ.

When I say "it is made possible by God", "it it God who works, not me", "all Glory goes to Him", at least I can really mean it. 

Looking closely at the perfect law

James 1:19-27

19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.

26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. 27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

and so, we were doing exploring Inductive Bible Study by applying it on James this week. There was this particular portion of the chapter which caught my eye.. and so I've decided to write it down here. 

at verse 19 James commands that everyone is to be quick to hear, slow to speak and anger. The rationale is that our anger never produces the righteousness of God. If I'm not horribly mistaken it means that anger does not produce the righteousness of God in our souls. Why do I guess this? 

Well, because with the word "therefore" in verse 21, James tells us what our response should be, knowing now that anger does not produce the righteousness of God. We should "receive with meekness the implanted word" which is able to save our souls. 

I see this to mean "anger will not save your souls, therefore choose instead the implanted word because the implanted word will". Anger does not reproduce in us the righteousness of God, however, God's word when received in humility, can. 

22 starts with a "but". Here James qualifies what it means to receive the implanted word meekly. Perhaps his audience was full of people who leap onto these things and say "aha, that's all I got to do right? Okay, I shall do nothing accept receive these words."

James responded preemptively to such interpretations, explaining that the true listener is also a doer. Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves [that by merely hearing you have received the implanted word] What comes right after in 23-25 is the interesting portion. 

Here we are offered contrasting characters, one who listens only and one who listens and acts. The first is a man who looks at his face in the mirror only to walk away, immediately forgetting what he has seen. 

The second man is one who looks into the perfect law, persevering, acting, not becoming a "hearer who forgets". 

What's interesting here? In my own life I see that I study the bible quite a bit and more so, I find myself forgetting the things that I've learnt and discovered, what's more, I recall the sort of intense delight I have when I understand and God makes sense to me. So it's puzzling, how something which has delighted me so much at the moment of acquisition can become so backgrounded and forgotten, almost like how I forget how I look in the mirror moments after I've seen myself in it, only to turn back and catch a glance again just to remind myself. 

James answers my question: I forget because I do not act. Do you find yourself disgusted at how precious truth escape your careless mind? James tells us to stop whining and start acting- that will be when you start staring intently at the perfect law... and so become a person who truly receive[s] with meekness the implanted word. 

James sums it up for us: 26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. 27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Don't waste your time looking at the word like a man who sees his own reflection in the mirror. Affix your eyes on the perfect law by acting on the things you hear. When you act you become a true hearer who does not forget... and that really puts you in a better position to be ever ready to serve God. 

This musical

It's always been my dream to be part of some production, one where I may really let myself go and act, sing and dance. I think I'd enjoy such a thing.

Yet on a second thought (and this thought always comes), I want to prove myself. For all the people who think I'm not up to it... for all the people who may treasure me more if they see me as talented..
This second thought mars the otherwise innocent ambition.

But I musn't forget what I set out to do, the conversation over supper still rings in my head. How does one feel strongly for something just a week ago and stumble over and make such huge mistakes a week after? I shouldn't have turned up for the audition. What was I thinking?

Maybe at least now I know what I am rejecting. Previously I kept myself away from it... but I had no idea what I was missing out on. Now I do, and the loss of it is obvious to me now.

1 Thessalonians 5:19–22 

"Do not quench the Spirit, do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast to what is good, abstain from every form of evil."

Do not despise prophecies. Mm. I tend to find all the "God said this to me...." despicable. 

Deep Love

1 John 4:7-21

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

This passage can be summarised as one about God's love for us, our love for one another and how we know that we live in God. 

Look at verse 15-16. "If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God and so we know and rely on the love God has for us." Okay, if we we acknowledge that Jesus is the Son of God, we come to know of the love God has for us. 

When does one acknowledge that Jesus is the Son of God? From my own experience I can think of 2. 

First is during worship. As we worship and praise God, sometimes God willing, we have this transcendent moment where our heart agrees with the lyrics of praise and we find ourselves in this position of admiration. We find God truly glorious and we confess "Jesus is Lord, Jesus is the Son of God!" So one occasion for the acknowledgement of the divinity of Christ is in a moment of adoration where we are at a loss of words to praise and settle on confessing instead. 

The second is sadly, when I sin. When I sin and fear the wrath of God, when I sin and feel exceedingly unworthy before God and the blood of Christ comforts me. When I think of how His sacrifice is sufficient, when I think of how my life now belongs to Him I see Him once again as Jesus, the Son of God. Jesus' divinity becomes emphasized when I'm feeling helpless and when my sin paints me a bleak picture because I know that it takes nothing short of the Son of God to turn my life around.

In these I know the love of God that I have come to rely on. 

There is another sense in verse 17-18. "This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

The perfect love of God drives out fear and so empowers us to live fearlessly like Jesus in this world. That means to face the suffering, the persecution, the unhappiness that will come to us as it has to Jesus, fearlessly. In other words, when we meet our challenges fearlessly, we come to know God's love for us. So, the trials that litter my life (and yours) are opportunities for us to meet bravely (rejecting fear which comes reflexively) so as to experience and know the love of God for us. 

Yes yes, but just a few days ago I wondered... God yes there is a brilliant design there that these "bad" things turn out to tell me of Your love for me... but seriously.. do You need to talk about Your love so much? I get the idea already!

Then almost immediately, I regretted it because I realised that.. it's probably true that I don't know God's love. God's love has moved some to write poems, has moved many to dance, has kept some awake at night, has caused some to meditate day and night, has brought peace in sleep... it's all written in the psalms, descriptions of how people have reacted to the knowledge of God's love for them. 

I'm nothing like that, it's obvious that I don't know God's love well enough. (Pats myself on the back, knowing God's love has driven some to blog extensively)

Ephesians 3:17-19

17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

The job of the saint is the attempt to comprehend the full measure of the love of God because it is through that comprehension that we will be filled with the fullness of God. Oh come dear Lord, walk me through the means by which you enlighten me about Your love. Teach me that I may come to know it deeply and fully. Help me to know it, that it may compel me and so I may live for You:

"For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

" (2 Corinthians 14-15)

Doing a reading on social variation: the 5 linguistic facts. I'm done with fact 4. 1 more to go but why the rush? I think it's worthwhile to chill out and finally get down to blogging again.

Anyway, this is an idea I don't want to forget after all.

Corinthians 12:27: Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

Now, I note that Corinthians 12-14 talks about spiritual gifts in Christ. In chapter 12 Paul talks about spiritual gifts as though functions of various body parts and how God's design for unity in the church is diversity in gifts and not homogeneity. This theme continues to play out in chapter 4 when Paul argues for why prophesying is better than tongues, because "The one who speaks in a tongue builds up himself, but the one who prophesies builds up the church. Now I want you all to speak in tongues, but even more to prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, unless someone interprets, so that the church may be built up" (14:4-5). Spiritual gifting is a very church-ward thing. It is tied to the idea of how the many gifts come together to function as a body... and how they are considered according to how much they can benefit the church.

Anyway, the teacher was saying that 12:27 tells us the context for the use of gifts: within the body. As a member. I felt that this has great potential for an argument of church attendance.

You see: if spiritual gifts are to be exercised within the context of the church, then the exerciser must identify themselves with a church as they dispense their gifts. Or, i.e. it is somewhat illegal to exercise your spiritual gift without highlighting your affiliation to the church or, without benefitting the other members in the church.
Or, you cannot use your gifts in the best possible way if you do not attend church.

So, how about... being a Christian but not exercising your gifts? Then you can legitimately shun the church and stay at home right? I'm afraid not.

In Corinthians we learn that God has given to each, each's spiritual gift and He definitely has a design in doing so. This compulsory possession of gifts... is therefore an order to attend a church. You are given, expected to exercise and hence expected to attend.