transposition. an element in the lower reality must represent multiple elements of the higher reality.

when you worship and feel close to God, it can be:
just a feeling
you are close to God

you know you can talk to me if you wanna.
it's so odd that when you open up your ears to do the hearing, you get upset when the words don't come, as though they were promised- but they aren't!
actually, this reveals something...
it doesn't matter whether you want to talk or not,
it was me, who wanted to talk to you, the whole time.

those status updates zoomed past as i flicked my finger, so many words... so many promises, waiting for their meanings to run dry. waiting for that unspecified expiry to come.
we say because it feels good at that point in time. can it be that much of such musings have little motive for meaning but a huge quest for romance?
why do you say it then, with the quotations and all and why do you craft your sentences into emotion provoking instruments?
is that your self expression or do you truly wish communication?
at what cost my friends, hence i have absolved that, as far as i can, never to speak too soon but only when i'm certain to eternity of what i'm about to say. though oddly enough many things said could've been unsaid.. and i observed that we'd be left with little to talk about.
and is this possible?
no.
that's why?
not always irresponsible, rather, at large we fail to be responsible.

i'd ask you why you didnt come and the conversation would've ended badly.
so i'll ponder it aloud here and i'll be done.
you'll forget to tell me when you're gonna fly, wont you?

its hard to say: enjoy yourselves guys, may you find God in the campers.

such perversion that although their joy ought to be my joy, i have instead sorrow.

welling within me this mysterious crippling bland tasteless pain. suppressed by the prevalent climate of joy
where joy keeps this sorrow company, making it hopelessly alone.
but sorrow is a property subjected to me, not i subjected to it.
i can discard it and i'll be saved.
and there the lonliness, alone, will cease to exist.

back from cuz's wedding. almost dead

hence, true repentance is revealed in exceptional willingness to take the deserved punishment.

dear su an
its not like i'll miss you for long.
you know what saddens me most?
i didn't end a note higher or comparable to when we first met.