worthless

Proverbs, everything is a chasing after the wind.

Money, fame, wealth, talent, looks, speech, deeds- none of these have a worth.
Not at all. Its a sad day for the world that after thinking so much, i can see what's worthless.
I dont deserve anything.

PJC's a long way from home, everyday consists of a lonely journey to-and-fro.
My phone never rings, there's never a letter for me.
I struggle with sleep on the bus, i look out of the windows in solitude.
And i wonder, why am I living such a sad life in such a sad world.

And i wonder- what will make me happier?
I can change, i WILL change! Believe in me, give me a chance!
I can scream my lungs out, but when the balance lies not in my hands, what can i do?
But wait, and wait.. and wait.
I'm always walking back these days, walking back to the earlier days
and i ask myself what on earth is going on.

Surely i must've changed. I'm sure i did.
And i give up reasoning this nonsense, why are you acting like this?
I don't know, and you wont say, you'd say I'm just thinking too much again.
Not every storm in my life happens in a bowl of soup!

As i bury myself in school work, somehow i dont feel numb.
I dont feel numb at all, somewhere in my heart, there's a feeling lodged.
Its crippling, its empowering, it keeps me alive...
But i feel as good as dead.