its another year and it feels the same
its back to studying once again.
A year ago I was a fool
This year I know what I'm doing
and I wish the same for you.

rainy weather I just had a big fall. my knee is swollen and the skin has peeled off, forming one small bleeding patch. you know, back in bmt my platoon mates called me fernando torres. why?
they felt that though i was usually efficient in the things we had to do, I was often injury-sickness ridden.
its a pity, even I think so.

so, my exodus from chili needs a little more help..
and my physical recklessness? lots to work on. ahh, emo emo.

its raining heavily at the padang. it is!
just moments ago we were clearing cardboard boxes till we were caught (and perhaps, drowned) in the cascade of rainwater.
yikes, its really cold and i'm freezing to death.

safety starts with saf

or so its true that's what they say

but when you see the frown on my face..
you'll know

I feel safer when I'm away

we must be good stewards of the gifts God gives us.
in response to that, I've been abstaining from chilli.
why?
I realised that its the culprit for perhaps many of my encounters with throat infection.
hence farewell chilli hello better health!
sigh. been keeping it up quite well until.. today. laksa was on the menu..

the poem

a poem reciting the water bottle mission.
humpty dumpty sat on a chair
humpty dumpty gave me a big scare!
but all the king's horses had no time to care
they were too busy-
they had ndp there!

but the SAF so strong
whose adp wanted to right his wrong
so he bought you a new humpty
with an apology inscribed in this song!

you know, i always thought i knew how you felt
when your gastric ulcers protested, when you collapsed to the floor
where you dealt with the convulsions and lost your consciousness.

well, i never did.
not at least until yesterday.

The medics rushed me into the treatment room, my temperature hit 39.4
It's critical they, they said.
they laid needles and drip bags on the table before me, and discussed briefly
regarding which bag or which needle they'd choose.

they constricted my arm in hopes of finding the vein, but they could not.
in desperation, one of the medics jumped onto the slightest visible vein...
I could feel the needle dividing its way into my flesh.

blood began to fill the needle's hollow because the drip was unable to enter.
Slowly, the medic removed the needle and stopped the bleeding.

"so how now? do we use the 18gauge?"
"i think i'm more confident with the 18..."
"hey, but shouldn't we let him rest for aw.."

everything faded into the background. All of a sudden i wanted to rest my head
wanted to close my eyes and wish it all away.
then my vision became pixelated.. and my limbs were turning cold.

I was losing my arms.. they started to feel foreign.
my head felt lighter and my eyelids weighed down.

I was afraid.. but a sense of comfort overwhelmed me..
"just let go.. it'll be better, let's go"
something soothing, reassuring clouded my mind..

as i was dragged onto my feet, i almost completely lost my vision.
that was when I thought of you.. and that day.

that day..

you were sick and resting at home, you caught the flu.
between lessons we'd message because you didn't want me to be distracted in class.
that day you told me something i did not want to hear..
and right then i lacked the maturity to think it through..

that day it all fell apart, whoever i was to you took a complete turn
for the first time you decided "enough is enough".
I can never know how upset or how angry you were.. because you'll never tell me.
but when I reached home and heard you fainted...

back there in the dimly lit corridoors in the wee hours of morning. My I was shocked back into life.. I was disgusted by the way I treated you.. of how I'd defend myself- that I wasn't the one who did not understand, but you were the one who always overreacted.
Forsaking that falsely comforting voice in my head, I flexed my sinews of willpower,
and reached within for a desperate source of power to stay awake..
By then my vision was gone, but nevertheless I dragged my feet along, trusting that when I reached the bed, all will be better..

I never knew fainting was that scary...
And today, I sit here blogging.. all by sheer grace.