swallow

weird things have been happening in my life these few days.
For a start, i dont know why im still so busy at church.
For seconds, my chinese compo was rated: shit.
For dessert, my math teacher just told me he's disappointed in me.

nice what!

too many things have been happening and i feel helpless caught amidst of it all.
With all the torrential unceasing turbulence, life feels really shitty.
Today i've added a new guilt to my name. Things keep going bad, and i sacrifice one for another, i'm triggering an avalanche and i don't even know the severity of it yet.

promos are a week or 2 away.
Why am i feeling confident? I shouldnt be, if i know what's good for me, its time to know im in trouble.
deep trouble.

I promised this, promised that. I feel like an idiot digging my own grave.
a special day lies next next week- its ok, it'll be forgotten, buried amidst the helter-skelter.

everyday's feeling like yet another to be torn from the calendar.
Everyday's wasted and trashed, no wonder i'm already feeling my days numbered.

My mind is still on the wrong things.
Some things just tag onto you and never let go, and well.. maybe that's just because you're the one holding on tight.

maybe i'm a nasty hypocrite.