hell,

oops i havent been blogging, SNEEZE!
no one caught that but it doesnt matter.
and no one caught that either.
and this'll go on, so much for thriple layered paradox.
which actually meant nonsense.

im just blogging today, because God made ponning school sound really serious.
and im utterly confused but i could NOT lift a single finger and really justify what im doing.
here's whats at stake.
pon school: dont need to hand in 2 hell of a homework which i obviously cannot complete.
dont need to embarass the hell out of myself with that shrunken s sized uniform
dont need to change in and out of my NCC uniform for PE. and wear it back. uggh!
my mum's not in singapore, now that makes ponning a breeze, though its impossible
since ponning will always be an action, never moving air.

dont pon school: make God proud.
put smiles on your friends faces with your idiotic-est behaviour and jokes.

NOT ENOUGH? Man im so screwed, my brain needs re-wiring.
im so idiotic i cant get this right.
arent the rewards on the side of dont pon school better?

btw, if you got confused about the uniform and stuff, heres a little secret.
its NCC day tomorrow.

ARRGGGHHH!! MEOW!
and the voice keeps going...
just pon, God wont be too disappointed, you always disappoint him anyway.
comeon. pon, pon pon.
ok damn you voice, just tell me where to get those boots and i'll go school tomorrow you...
you snide piece of low down crap deceiving loser good for nothing shit!
you moronic suicider and worthless emotionless heartless evil curved warped nonsense!
you rebel, punk fool asshole cheater scheming backstabbing thing!
stop it!! stop talking..!!

ok now what do i do? my boots are stuck in the NCC room, im dead screwed
and heading for the drain, the chute, the landfill.

stupid new bus driver
-november 2001 paper 1.

WAAAGGH!!!

would you?

would you take this all away, by giving me more.
take the hanging boulder and polish up those walls.

we'll walk the red carpet someday, and somehow.
whatever your role would be

doom.'

ok im an idiot who actually still skipped homework at the first 2 days of the last week
a short almost-irony to bring out a little misery and beyond salvation kind of feel.
but its misused, so lets heck this all, and move on.

hahaa ok i read 2 books, and i skipped my homework.
filling in all the extra time with ample dosages of ryl.
and so now im sitting here, ranting about how screwed i am
when i could've evaded this.
OK STOP DAMN IT!

ok i feel like im popping out here just to kick up the settled dust
and sneeze and sneeze and forget all about it.
weird...
but just the way she liked it.
-honeymoon.

instant

and im back again because i feel like ranting about how gay the timeline has been
about how obviously, the time flies like an arrow. which is a pun if there are time flies.
lol
ok screw it. this year is finally beginning to pick up back to the
Good O' days.
to think how gay life has presented itself at the start of the year
i guess life should just get a life and start learning how not to hurt
the people living it.

woah who caught the meaning in that extra terrestrial line?
well does it matter?
im just well, feeling screwed up because im still indifferent, at large.
i wasted 2 weeks doing nothing much. maybe someone wants to differ..
but you just dont get it do you? Its not about the smiles i placed on people's faces
or the fun i made my friends have
its not about the company im giving them even though i have piles of homework
i know why, because im just running away.
and its not about anything else, even the principal would agree that
holiday isn't for God, holiday isn't this nor that.
its plain simple. study for your damned O's.
i didnt mean that that is really what's going on, its just how the school makes us feel.
and i dont even know if im cooking all this up
as a freaking gay excuse.
and im not saying that the dear principal is not capable of something so underhanded.
since she had already "confronted" me openly when i wrote
that holidays should be liberated from chains of homework.
or that homework should be given in proportion.
or maybe im cooking this all up
as a freaking gay excuse.

i dont know what im doing, or what im babbling about.
its makes no sense, got homework? just DO!
why think so much uh, why cant you be simple?
can you live forever just by thinking
or can you fabricate your success just by a train of thoughts?
or maybe the world is thought by you.
and therefore everyone's will
to you they yield.
i dont know just shut up? hahahaha...

why liddat? why liddat?!

well yeah whoo!

okok, so i didnt blog for the past say.. 9 days? no HOOHAA.
to sum up the few days i've been living, i just hope joash didnt go do his 8-8 study plan or something.
or i might just lose the will to live.
ok im such an idiotic exaggerator.

well. ok i just lost the feeling to blog again. so lets quickly sum things up before someone gets hurt.
its been
media camp
dance classes
trying to shop for something good
dom7th outing
screwed-up lingchang.



and now im here! its so boring. its time to do homework....

count yourself lucky

yeah yeah, do that already.
count yourself lucky already.
some jerkhole like you, managed to get a few girls along the way
touched the hearts of many
a model in the eyes of many (children? innocent kids? heh)

well. somehow its always not her eh?
you get all your idiotic crushes and have the one hell of a fun
flirting around with them.
well screw yourself, your desserts.

hahaha well, its pretty screwed. screwed screwed.
everything so fake i dont care.
i dont see why you could talk to them.
what about me? im supposed to be your friend and you dont talk to me?

keep your friends close- your enemies CLOSER
SCREWWW..

a little holiday nonsense

stop giving reasons

oh stop giving me reasons to suicide - loser (not nuff') said.

im tired of prancing around brainlessly in this monotonous (no) life life.
im tired of watching the homelessness and hopeless monochromic backdrop
and im damn sick and tired of watching your back when the beauty's in your face.
im tired of being fooled around in an imaginary paradise playground.
which kinda sucks since im stuck in it but i know im STUCK and not enjoying myself.
which fool didnt see how you shun me.
or which idiot couldn't feel your evil intentions of avoiding me.
which moron didnt know that you were out to spite me
and which @#$% didnt know that you actually hated me.
and which ( i ran out of mild vulgarities and have no intention to move on).

emo are for idiots.
they are emo
they are mo
and o.
idiots.

ok this was plain random, always happens when she openly dodges me.
makes me kinda want to hit her hard sometimes.
but (proudly drums the chest) im a MAN!

random nonsense everything! including this one...

shock. yourself.

well. im a lazy person but shockingly efficient and insanely hardworking.

as long as its nothing got to do with studying, im on!
i just researched alot about sentosa and brainstormed about how the whole amazing race might run.
well yeah. i bet even those comm members aren't as ON as me.
ok thats really besides the point.
i slacked again today- didnt do my homework. not at all.
i was just playing dawn of war and taking more and more land.
i was just browsing the net and watching movies (illegally) online.

then that was when i was reminded of something.
i finally remember why... which for a long time i couldn't understand.
everyone knows the topic. knows the subject but not the subjects of the subject
heh.
its because i kept lying.
it hurts, but not as much.

cobwebs.

im sure spiderman exists.
look at those webs hanging from the roof of my blog!.

ok lame nonsense.
well just a random thing, i haven't been doing my hw and im obviously going to die quickly
-without a trace.

ok but before i die, here's a little fun.
next week's camp week!! WOOOH.
ok. blah.
from monday till friday i'll be caught in intensive NCC camp and media club camp.
its nuts how coincidently these 2 camps had to be back to back.
so suspicious and reeking of ambiguous murderous intent.
i think i've gotto do some research quickly.!
on sentosa though.

goodness gracious the teacher had decided to be clever and procrastinate like idiot
teenagers.
so now he needs help and i have to help if not im a selfish loser faggot man who is gay
and doesnt want to help, utterly disrespectful and atroucious.
ouch- my puny brain hurts from excessive exertion of language behind a sheet of overused vocabulary.
(oh that was nonsense, i could tell)
well. so here's how my research ended.

i might be taking you on a recee with the rest.

really? which day and what time?

(no reply) (research stops concurrently)

morons.

eh thanks.

well yesterday i had a talk with tiffany, actually i had a talk with many people at a go.
well, i got something which i guess will really help me
its regarding BGR...
well its alot about not thinking about it now.
afterall, my job now is to study.
when i saw that pretty girl again today. i just kept that thought
and i was fixed. as in not like as if i went for a fix or something
but rather. i felt like i could say. ahh wth? who cares. later!

its a great feeling.
i dont need a girlfriend anymore.
haha untill im 20!

just a quick one.

i hate fake fags.
not because they start with f, when they can also start with w.
or g?

well. just a random thought abt people during the trip.
you'll only think this refers to you when you're dead guilty about it.
its simple.
dont claim you love the kids when you cant paint sincerely.
dont claim that you love the kids if you could only play with them but not paint.
its gross disgusting and mind you its etched in my head.
about how fake some fags can be.
well now, if you're not mentioned, it doesnt mean you arent.
cauz praising God is about the heart and never about the body.
its never about raising hands and faces twisted in agony.
its never about saying "Lord" to replace the words "and" or commas.
get it? get real now and freaking learn.
this is how you recognise idiots.
they speak with no actions.
its simple. prove to me whatever you're saying without actions
try and convince anyone. even babies know that their milk aint coming if they dont see a bottle in your hands.
its that simple. its buried in our souls, we all know that. its there, its part of us.
why, now be such a cowardly loser or a flimsy willed person.
if you've got a point, you've got to make it, with physical sacrifice.

well the trip. wilfred you could be right.
its too easy to my liking.
im a weakling. but if i can do something easily. then i suppose anyone else could.
now stop complaining about not having a brush in your hand when its beside your feet.