there's one thing i died trying to ask you.
when you said
"im sorry i wasnt there for you" did you mean it?
In the rubble of my troubles, honestly the last thing i need, is lip service.
well mei, while you're away, MIA again for a reason i cannot fathom
i figured maybe you wanna know how i fared for prelims.
In short, only math disappointed me this time..
somehow im still a far cry from mustering any weapon to deal with my pure math.
i didnt do well.. i managed a D. dunno what happened, and dont ask.
physics sure paid off, an expected A, came as expected.
Gp was a pleasant surprise with something ugly thrown in.
33 for compre and essay only managed 25.
almost topped the class again.. its queer, its finally my essays stumbling me.
well anyway,econs is a B, pending.
waiting for my case studies to hail the verdict.
chemistry is, well who knows. anything can happen.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
AHh firstly, what am i doing watching channel 8 drama?
It's but a repetition of getting together of couples..
and then the girl finding her old flame.. and choose to make the new guy sacrifice.
Tragic huh, familiar.
Brings me back to a certain birthday party i shall not name.
It was a really awkward day.
Before everything happened, i really enjoyed my time with the hostess.
with her friends and classmates, we were talking and having lots of fun.
and then, 2 other guys came.
Each one carried a different, but special and more importantly, history.
Things were okay, but you see, she didnt really attend to either of them.
IN MY MIND,
there was already a storm brewing, i wondered to myself what reasons could possibly substantiate such a scenario..
So i spent sometime with the maids.. who were doing bbq,
Talked and found out a little more about the situation... and more about one of those guys.
meanwhile, the charcoal was too hot and they burnt up some sausages and prawns.
Then came the climax, the phototaking.
I won't elaborate, but one of those guys? He was standing rather far away..
It must've hurt him like nuts, some birthdays before.. and things were different..
nobody was closer to her than he was.
oh well..
As i left the house under the dark night sky where the street was illuminated with the faint orange street lamp glow, i felt kinda sad.
Looking up to the black bony branches with the deep blue sky casted behind, there was this familiar feeling..
the same branches matched a cloudy rainy sky, the same branches with a melancholic sunset.
As chords of faint music make their way to my ears, i couldn't help feeling the least of all.
Yet that was just an emotional phase, reality my friend, is way harsher.
It's but a repetition of getting together of couples..
and then the girl finding her old flame.. and choose to make the new guy sacrifice.
Tragic huh, familiar.
Brings me back to a certain birthday party i shall not name.
It was a really awkward day.
Before everything happened, i really enjoyed my time with the hostess.
with her friends and classmates, we were talking and having lots of fun.
and then, 2 other guys came.
Each one carried a different, but special and more importantly, history.
Things were okay, but you see, she didnt really attend to either of them.
IN MY MIND,
there was already a storm brewing, i wondered to myself what reasons could possibly substantiate such a scenario..
So i spent sometime with the maids.. who were doing bbq,
Talked and found out a little more about the situation... and more about one of those guys.
meanwhile, the charcoal was too hot and they burnt up some sausages and prawns.
Then came the climax, the phototaking.
I won't elaborate, but one of those guys? He was standing rather far away..
It must've hurt him like nuts, some birthdays before.. and things were different..
nobody was closer to her than he was.
oh well..
As i left the house under the dark night sky where the street was illuminated with the faint orange street lamp glow, i felt kinda sad.
Looking up to the black bony branches with the deep blue sky casted behind, there was this familiar feeling..
the same branches matched a cloudy rainy sky, the same branches with a melancholic sunset.
As chords of faint music make their way to my ears, i couldn't help feeling the least of all.
Yet that was just an emotional phase, reality my friend, is way harsher.
greenhorn vs greenspan
4th June 09, tuck yan stood up in the lecture hall, he proposed that the free market, like any other market we've rejected, has failed. This time, its serious because it is incompatible with human nature, greed.
Few months later, alan greenspan borrows the same words, turning up on TIMES magazine verbatim section..
'unless somebody can find a way to change human nature, we will have more crises'
I swear people have regard for words based nearly soley on the babbler. Few weeks down the road, conceited students who scorned my words will find themselves haplessly copying the very same words, except supposedly otherworldly empowered by the man.
By the way alan, christianity can change the human nature, believe it.. Don't let your wrinkles consume you.
Few months later, alan greenspan borrows the same words, turning up on TIMES magazine verbatim section..
'unless somebody can find a way to change human nature, we will have more crises'
I swear people have regard for words based nearly soley on the babbler. Few weeks down the road, conceited students who scorned my words will find themselves haplessly copying the very same words, except supposedly otherworldly empowered by the man.
By the way alan, christianity can change the human nature, believe it.. Don't let your wrinkles consume you.
Friday, September 18, 2009
in focus
He is finally trailing.. his voice is becoming muffled..
Watch time slow down in attempt to capture the picture..
Beads of tears draw mark their trails, her hand reached to grab the sitting belt.
She clutched her chest, bearing the grimace, braving the irony that was driving her crazy
She turns behind.. and sees him, but he's fading away as the sun swallows him in the horizon.
The belt was constricting.. now just glancing back from the corner of her eye..
The strain commenced to blanket her eyes, forcing her view back to the front
the tears now making their way..
making their way down a hapless free fall onto her jeans.
Because.. somewhere along that faithful sunset, he disappeared.
Back in focus, there is a man driving.. his face.. it's greyed out.
Her shirt crumpled under her immense grip..
This is the start.. of something old.
Still i wonder if you ever went through all that.
And i wonder if it'll be any encouragement to me if even that was true.
Isn't there someone.. we've collectively forgotten?
Watch time slow down in attempt to capture the picture..
Beads of tears draw mark their trails, her hand reached to grab the sitting belt.
She clutched her chest, bearing the grimace, braving the irony that was driving her crazy
She turns behind.. and sees him, but he's fading away as the sun swallows him in the horizon.
The belt was constricting.. now just glancing back from the corner of her eye..
The strain commenced to blanket her eyes, forcing her view back to the front
the tears now making their way..
making their way down a hapless free fall onto her jeans.
Because.. somewhere along that faithful sunset, he disappeared.
Back in focus, there is a man driving.. his face.. it's greyed out.
Her shirt crumpled under her immense grip..
This is the start.. of something old.
Still i wonder if you ever went through all that.
And i wonder if it'll be any encouragement to me if even that was true.
Isn't there someone.. we've collectively forgotten?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
there's one reccurring fact
that represents itself
Humans, we don't quite try hard enough
or is our hardest NEVER enough?
come on now don't play the saint
you know your own incurable laziness
but curiously the question raised
isn't about you and that facade you paint
It is about the possibility out there
that when we try our hardest hardest
we might really, really achieve something, yeah.
Just think about the times you gave up on someone
Or the lies you claim about your ipod complimenting studies
only to end up lost in within as the songs stealthily devoured your time
Think about that 'one last movie' 'facebook updates' 'swift dota game'
the 5 more minutes and the 1 more cookie
oh go dance in the rain, may it clear up your brain
for you to see with moisten eyes that the work you put in isnt as hard as you claimed.
For me.. for now, i can just wonder why im even blogging.
that represents itself
Humans, we don't quite try hard enough
or is our hardest NEVER enough?
come on now don't play the saint
you know your own incurable laziness
but curiously the question raised
isn't about you and that facade you paint
It is about the possibility out there
that when we try our hardest hardest
we might really, really achieve something, yeah.
Just think about the times you gave up on someone
Or the lies you claim about your ipod complimenting studies
only to end up lost in within as the songs stealthily devoured your time
Think about that 'one last movie' 'facebook updates' 'swift dota game'
the 5 more minutes and the 1 more cookie
oh go dance in the rain, may it clear up your brain
for you to see with moisten eyes that the work you put in isnt as hard as you claimed.
For me.. for now, i can just wonder why im even blogging.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
dont know what to think anymore
but it doesnt matter anymore
one day there'll no longer be a need to.
With prelims before me, i took a peek behind.
I saw the fleet footed past 2 years rampaging behind.
headed straight for me, an unstoppable raging torrent.
i sure could choose to step aside, for the corridoor of time is timelessly narrow.
the achievments, the dreams, the stupidity the hurts
the glory, the moments of natural.. and the forced.
turning to the side, i'm just glad we decided to walk to your house.
so i could timely mention.. that if given a chance, for once..
just for once, i'll re-live these 2 heavy years..
to set everything right, to not have liked you..
to not have joined ambassadors, to have submitted my homework..
to have remained anti social, to not have mixed with the popular bunch
to have studied for gp, to have remained humble
to have tried harder to keep our OG together
to have continued studying chemistry with you, to have cleared my mathematics problems
to have appreciated physics, to have gymned while i can
to not have joined pre-u seminar, to have followed mr tham's ideas
to not have tried to be clever, to not have attempted to chase after the unthinkable
to have been more of a moron, to have had little courage before girls
to have been a better christian, to have picked up the bible
to have set a better example for jason, to have made my worship leading sessions more fruitful
to have joined wednesday frisbee pickups earlier..
Now, the gush is zooming past the narrow corridor, flicking specks of grime into my face
Behind it follows quickly a solid wall of darkness, swiftly devouring the once travelled passage...
The lagging, now precious few drops of water are disappearing.
The pictures of happiness are.. the memories are fading.
one day all the drama will be nothing more than a stone cold stool
and everything once strived for buried dead deep in the depths of the earth.
but its fine so long as i dont live, as i lived in the past, again.
but i.. i'm drenched in the historic moment where my legs, in an unexplainable motion
brought me back into the depths of it all.
now its not just the grime anymore.
but it doesnt matter anymore
one day there'll no longer be a need to.
With prelims before me, i took a peek behind.
I saw the fleet footed past 2 years rampaging behind.
headed straight for me, an unstoppable raging torrent.
i sure could choose to step aside, for the corridoor of time is timelessly narrow.
the achievments, the dreams, the stupidity the hurts
the glory, the moments of natural.. and the forced.
turning to the side, i'm just glad we decided to walk to your house.
so i could timely mention.. that if given a chance, for once..
just for once, i'll re-live these 2 heavy years..
to set everything right, to not have liked you..
to not have joined ambassadors, to have submitted my homework..
to have remained anti social, to not have mixed with the popular bunch
to have studied for gp, to have remained humble
to have tried harder to keep our OG together
to have continued studying chemistry with you, to have cleared my mathematics problems
to have appreciated physics, to have gymned while i can
to not have joined pre-u seminar, to have followed mr tham's ideas
to not have tried to be clever, to not have attempted to chase after the unthinkable
to have been more of a moron, to have had little courage before girls
to have been a better christian, to have picked up the bible
to have set a better example for jason, to have made my worship leading sessions more fruitful
to have joined wednesday frisbee pickups earlier..
Now, the gush is zooming past the narrow corridor, flicking specks of grime into my face
Behind it follows quickly a solid wall of darkness, swiftly devouring the once travelled passage...
The lagging, now precious few drops of water are disappearing.
The pictures of happiness are.. the memories are fading.
one day all the drama will be nothing more than a stone cold stool
and everything once strived for buried dead deep in the depths of the earth.
but its fine so long as i dont live, as i lived in the past, again.
but i.. i'm drenched in the historic moment where my legs, in an unexplainable motion
brought me back into the depths of it all.
now its not just the grime anymore.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
hey mei,
i'm cooking noodles for my sister now because all the rice in the cooker got burnt.
i dunno, but i just feel very unhappy.
Maybe the stress is really starting to work its way into me.
I'm sorry, if i cant quite ease your burdens.. its always the same thing.
I'm always so caught up with my own things with my own thoughts with my unecessary obligations i keep heaping onto myself..
There are alot of things i want to add below, but frankly
I'm so disappointed i can't continue.
i'm cooking noodles for my sister now because all the rice in the cooker got burnt.
i dunno, but i just feel very unhappy.
Maybe the stress is really starting to work its way into me.
I'm sorry, if i cant quite ease your burdens.. its always the same thing.
I'm always so caught up with my own things with my own thoughts with my unecessary obligations i keep heaping onto myself..
There are alot of things i want to add below, but frankly
I'm so disappointed i can't continue.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
hey mei. for Page 3, since pV= constant, it means that if p increases, V will decrease respectively given their inverse relationship to keep the product pV constant.
Hence, PV remains a constant regardless of how much p or V increases (hence the straight y=k line)
On the other hand, for page 7, its the same theory (pV)/T is a constant. so when either p, V or T increases eg. if p increases, V will decrease and T will increase, resulting in overall unchanged value of (pV)/T. So if you reflect that on the graph, putting p, V or T on the x axis, you can see that the value of (pV)/T remains constant as p,V or T increases. makes sense i hope?
Finally, the other page 7 graph... you know it alr. Focus on the partial pressure thingy and such, the graphs really arent important (and are usually only MCQ to boot!)
I didnt really hear you clearly over the phone yesterday. haha but you've got something on
that part im sure i heard correctly!
well, next week there will be no discipleship class.. so, I'm up for studying.
Tsk, today we talked about tongues and spiritual gifts and the might of the Holy spirit
when class was on Acts.
Did you know that christians were first called christians in Antioch? haha
Oh well i sold away my tennis racquet and bought 2 more-suitable-for-beginners ones.
Here's being hopeful for the day we truly get to playy!
Well, im gonna study abit and i'll be heading to church again, yeap and since there's youth today, i wont be back till it gets really late.
I hope you're feeling better, and quick! you've gotta teach me Ksp really soon.
Hmmm.. lately havent been feeling good.. there's this persistent dampening.
I can only hope you're not more miserable than I am, but dont forget what you promised me!
You said nothing will get in betweeen you and your studies. right?
Enjoy your saturday!
Hence, PV remains a constant regardless of how much p or V increases (hence the straight y=k line)
On the other hand, for page 7, its the same theory (pV)/T is a constant. so when either p, V or T increases eg. if p increases, V will decrease and T will increase, resulting in overall unchanged value of (pV)/T. So if you reflect that on the graph, putting p, V or T on the x axis, you can see that the value of (pV)/T remains constant as p,V or T increases. makes sense i hope?
Finally, the other page 7 graph... you know it alr. Focus on the partial pressure thingy and such, the graphs really arent important (and are usually only MCQ to boot!)
I didnt really hear you clearly over the phone yesterday. haha but you've got something on
that part im sure i heard correctly!
well, next week there will be no discipleship class.. so, I'm up for studying.
Tsk, today we talked about tongues and spiritual gifts and the might of the Holy spirit
when class was on Acts.
Did you know that christians were first called christians in Antioch? haha
Oh well i sold away my tennis racquet and bought 2 more-suitable-for-beginners ones.
Here's being hopeful for the day we truly get to playy!
Well, im gonna study abit and i'll be heading to church again, yeap and since there's youth today, i wont be back till it gets really late.
I hope you're feeling better, and quick! you've gotta teach me Ksp really soon.
Hmmm.. lately havent been feeling good.. there's this persistent dampening.
I can only hope you're not more miserable than I am, but dont forget what you promised me!
You said nothing will get in betweeen you and your studies. right?
Enjoy your saturday!
Friday, September 04, 2009
thanks mei, i knew it was a great idea!
hm.. i wonder if your face remotely lights up when you typed that maill..
haha i was really tempted to do that question, but i realised that i was probably gonna type alot more whacked up theories if i attempted that question.
oh dont worry. you cant really have much theory about nuclear energy and such.. just applied my retained geographic knowledge to evaluate wind and hydro electricity.
Sigh, i knew there was something real complicated going on..
well, i'll watch that show when i've got time. Its dinner now, and after that, yeap, back to mugging for prelims.
Im so gonna be a mugger too.
hm.. i wonder if your face remotely lights up when you typed that maill..
haha i was really tempted to do that question, but i realised that i was probably gonna type alot more whacked up theories if i attempted that question.
oh dont worry. you cant really have much theory about nuclear energy and such.. just applied my retained geographic knowledge to evaluate wind and hydro electricity.
Sigh, i knew there was something real complicated going on..
well, i'll watch that show when i've got time. Its dinner now, and after that, yeap, back to mugging for prelims.
Im so gonna be a mugger too.
hey mei, i suppose i do already know that these few days you're down and out.
Exams take a heavy toll on you huh? I guess so.
The reason why im writing things here, is so you can hear me speak when you want to..
Our unpleasant encounter during mid years, the memory of it and the lessons learnt
is seared and etched in my mind.
But i don't think its good for you to be alone.. So I'm talking to you in a way
you definitely can choose to ignore if you don't want to.
well today's friday, prelim paper 1. Gp .
I wrote an essay on question 11, the one on nuclear power. Ugh feeling really unhappy that I was kinda forced by circumstances to finally choose a question that isn't really philosophical.
Well, i wrote 4 and a 1/2 pages.. i hope it isnt pointless ramblings again, if not Mrs Khor will really have my head.
Comprehension was tough, i didnt even know what to write for AQ, but im kinda worried for jameus and junwen, cauz they told me their points.. and their paragraphs were the kind that will easily garner reactions like "uhh... hm. okay".
well after that i had a really fun session of badminton with my class @ bukit gombak. Now, dont get jealous. haha.
well anyway.
quickly summing this up.
i wanted to ask you:
the progress of your revision
your day today
what exactly is making you so stressed up
and then i want you to know:
that i will do anything in my power to help you, and i hope you know you can count on me.
Exams take a heavy toll on you huh? I guess so.
The reason why im writing things here, is so you can hear me speak when you want to..
Our unpleasant encounter during mid years, the memory of it and the lessons learnt
is seared and etched in my mind.
But i don't think its good for you to be alone.. So I'm talking to you in a way
you definitely can choose to ignore if you don't want to.
well today's friday, prelim paper 1. Gp .
I wrote an essay on question 11, the one on nuclear power. Ugh feeling really unhappy that I was kinda forced by circumstances to finally choose a question that isn't really philosophical.
Well, i wrote 4 and a 1/2 pages.. i hope it isnt pointless ramblings again, if not Mrs Khor will really have my head.
Comprehension was tough, i didnt even know what to write for AQ, but im kinda worried for jameus and junwen, cauz they told me their points.. and their paragraphs were the kind that will easily garner reactions like "uhh... hm. okay".
well after that i had a really fun session of badminton with my class @ bukit gombak. Now, dont get jealous. haha.
well anyway.
quickly summing this up.
i wanted to ask you:
the progress of your revision
your day today
what exactly is making you so stressed up
and then i want you to know:
that i will do anything in my power to help you, and i hope you know you can count on me.
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