Have I been living too recklessly, paying little attention to what's been happening in my life? Perhaps. I was rather troubled by this thought today as we were in a cab, on our way home. The rain was beating heavily and we passed by this industrial area in paya lebar.
I worked there for a bit, as I recall, when I was in J1 because I had been trying to get money to buy a crumpler. I did the math and figured that working 5 days under my uncle would get me about 150 dollars which would have allowed me to choose between the bigger and the smaller crumpler.
Those were strange days I think, I was quickly done in by the dust at the warehouse and I was feeling weak and feverish. I dreaded going back there and that mounted day after day. I left work mid-way on the third day because my body finally couldn't take it.
I still remember drinking Pokka blueberry tea as a substitute for water because there was no water dispenser there. I remember hiding in the air-conditioned office when my uncle wasn't around. Looking back now, I was a rather lazy worker, skiving whenever I could....
and that got me thinking now, it got me considering if I've forgotten to count the little things in my life that has added up to the person I am today.
So today I just want to say that I'm glad that I backtracked to buy tissues from the uncle at Ang Mo Kio. I'm glad that I made myself say "happy new year" to him. I think I did it sincerely too, though I cannot tell if he cared for it.
I also think that I did try to be a little more patient with my mother, although I was certainly not as gentle as I could have been. She's always a little jittery during Chinese New Year, suggesting odd things and behaving out of character. I think I will only understand these things when I'm older. There's probably some stress associated with going back to your family every year, perhaps every year you want to show them that you married the right person, that you are blessed with good kids, that you made the right decisions...
Finally I think I did a good job engaging Norman in a short conversation, he is now the husband of my cousin. It's clear that he still has a long way to go before he fits in, I think I can do more for him next year.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
A lesson at the mrt
The train door closes on a couple just as they were about the board.
They burst into laughter and found a seat. They were still giggling and smiling as the train departed and brought them out of my sight.
It's okay to miss out on something when you're with your Girlfriend. Why? To employ a culinary metaphor, it is because she's the main course. Everything else is secondary. Does it matter if you miss a train? Not if you missed it together.
And then why is it not the same to miss the same train... with God? Do I have the same profound appreciation for Him? Does it matter if I'm missing out on a lot in life? It shouldn't if it's all with Him.
Back to the couple and the train, I think that ideally every individual should have such individual intimacy with God that as they laugh at their circumstances, they do so together because they are unwilling that their other half should miss out on the intimacy that they each have with God.
And so, I am reminded again that I must not pursue a relationship from the starting point of a need or lack. If that's the starting step, what missteps would those be that follow?
They burst into laughter and found a seat. They were still giggling and smiling as the train departed and brought them out of my sight.
It's okay to miss out on something when you're with your Girlfriend. Why? To employ a culinary metaphor, it is because she's the main course. Everything else is secondary. Does it matter if you miss a train? Not if you missed it together.
And then why is it not the same to miss the same train... with God? Do I have the same profound appreciation for Him? Does it matter if I'm missing out on a lot in life? It shouldn't if it's all with Him.
Back to the couple and the train, I think that ideally every individual should have such individual intimacy with God that as they laugh at their circumstances, they do so together because they are unwilling that their other half should miss out on the intimacy that they each have with God.
And so, I am reminded again that I must not pursue a relationship from the starting point of a need or lack. If that's the starting step, what missteps would those be that follow?
Monday, January 02, 2017
The joy of an unread blog
http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-really-matters-in-2017
This is speaking to the core of my being. And yet my first instinct was to publish it on facebook so that everyone knows that this was speaking to the core of my being.
Which is the point of the article: we are so concerned with how we appear to others rather than being really concerned with who we really are.
And the bliss of an unread blog is that i can express it here without trying to portray myself in a particular way in front of people.
Corollary to that, I ask that if you read my blog that you keep your readership to yourself, don't tell me because I want to write to you without writing for you. Or, I want to write for you without writing to you.
Do you understand?
Good, now go read this article.
This is speaking to the core of my being. And yet my first instinct was to publish it on facebook so that everyone knows that this was speaking to the core of my being.
Which is the point of the article: we are so concerned with how we appear to others rather than being really concerned with who we really are.
And the bliss of an unread blog is that i can express it here without trying to portray myself in a particular way in front of people.
Corollary to that, I ask that if you read my blog that you keep your readership to yourself, don't tell me because I want to write to you without writing for you. Or, I want to write for you without writing to you.
Do you understand?
Good, now go read this article.
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