wel' done poet.
you're back again amidst the Olevels,
you're just the ultimate blogger, so i'll give you, myself
a cyber clap.
today's amath was easy.
with the peas.
well. even though it was easy, as always, being the take-it-all for granted
idiotic fool i am, i just didnt quite have the reason to be happy.
well you seee.
as of the paper, i just threw away 10 marks.
for fun, for souvenier, for @#%#%#^ goodness what reasons.
well you might think...
yo.... 10marks nia.
but well. the paper was basically engineered for scoring full marks.
so i really do see the problem with throwing away 10marks.
NOW IF YOU DONT MIND.
the sad part abt this all. is that.
others (thriple science and whatsoevers) had their headstart.
had this really shiok dumb paper which popped out and scared everyone's pants down, laughing.
for me, i screwed up and lost the headstart.
now i can see for myself that its gonna be hell for me should i want
to do well for Amath.
well tomrrow topics are as follow...
binomial (nokick)
functions(nokick)
P&C(nokick)
geometry (pleasee....)
sets notation hm.!
er. i forgot.
oh and relative velocity. (kicks like mad)
well.
gotta study.
so just before i get my butt off the computer chair...
i just want to talk abt how i wanted to emo but this post turned out so
crappy, slipshot, lighthearted etc.
know why?
cauz i had tea in teh afternoon
and being with friends is just so good
had fried dumplings and ice blended ribenna.
with all my friends happily chatting around
there was no longer a reason to maintain the frown.
so i looked forward for the challenges ahead
quickly bringing the ugly feature down.
so here i am sitting amidst of bliss
theres heaven tomrrow and so im excited for tomrrow.
theres nothing worse than burning my time
while sitting at the computer and resting my mind.
its time for hustle.
GG
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
late hours;
this is pretty cool, after a refreshing bath...
i decided to check if anyone had left interesting posts..
just before we went aimlessly into..
the cold-blooded heartless battlefield.
one such battlefield.. maybe we'd be putting aside friendships
maybe BGR. maybe... relationship with God?
and we're just... crashing around.
defending ourselves with the unsound?
i dont know.
well. im the only person romantic enough to be writing something beforeO's are finally in town.
no i dont want it to be in town
i rather we lived in kampongs and my girlfriend's next door.
and our church is just right in the center and
me and my ah-bangs and khakis are just gonna.
run around, play sepak tekraw, catching, roll in the mud.
pit our insects against the other, and then just laugh and forget.
i rather my brains be filled with wondrous memories, whether happy or sad./
rather than the cold, mute formulaes which
keep yelling and screaming back at me.
i rather be learnt in appretiating God regardless of my condition
rather than even hitting the fringes of how the world works.
well ok. since i said that already.
lets start by appretiation NOw.
but im complacent, i cant.
make O levels past and i'll thank you OK?
im lying i always forget.
i can remember to ask, but never to reciprocate.
i can say i wish for peace
and yet be throwing my nukes and bombs
i just cant stop my fanatical rage of hurting God.
God please disarm me
i keep asking, overwrite the freewill.
just enslave me keep me from sin.
but im being selfish, im being lazy.
im telling God.
look even the free salvation am i lazy to get.
even your assistance i much enlarge like crap.
i dont want help, i dont want blessings.
just make me a zombie who follows blindly.
but you want me to know what im doing.
you want and desire my choice.
and so even when i keep saying that i dont want to choose...
Lord please make you my choice.
im freaking tired with my little campaigns.
im ashamed of how loose i became.
guide me back now into your protection and care.
and let me sleep like a sheep in your hands...
with blessings more than spare can spare.
i decided to check if anyone had left interesting posts..
just before we went aimlessly into..
the cold-blooded heartless battlefield.
one such battlefield.. maybe we'd be putting aside friendships
maybe BGR. maybe... relationship with God?
and we're just... crashing around.
defending ourselves with the unsound?
i dont know.
well. im the only person romantic enough to be writing something beforeO's are finally in town.
no i dont want it to be in town
i rather we lived in kampongs and my girlfriend's next door.
and our church is just right in the center and
me and my ah-bangs and khakis are just gonna.
run around, play sepak tekraw, catching, roll in the mud.
pit our insects against the other, and then just laugh and forget.
i rather my brains be filled with wondrous memories, whether happy or sad./
rather than the cold, mute formulaes which
keep yelling and screaming back at me.
i rather be learnt in appretiating God regardless of my condition
rather than even hitting the fringes of how the world works.
well ok. since i said that already.
lets start by appretiation NOw.
but im complacent, i cant.
make O levels past and i'll thank you OK?
im lying i always forget.
i can remember to ask, but never to reciprocate.
i can say i wish for peace
and yet be throwing my nukes and bombs
i just cant stop my fanatical rage of hurting God.
God please disarm me
i keep asking, overwrite the freewill.
just enslave me keep me from sin.
but im being selfish, im being lazy.
im telling God.
look even the free salvation am i lazy to get.
even your assistance i much enlarge like crap.
i dont want help, i dont want blessings.
just make me a zombie who follows blindly.
but you want me to know what im doing.
you want and desire my choice.
and so even when i keep saying that i dont want to choose...
Lord please make you my choice.
im freaking tired with my little campaigns.
im ashamed of how loose i became.
guide me back now into your protection and care.
and let me sleep like a sheep in your hands...
with blessings more than spare can spare.
what a time
its just not the time
to be writing poems.
its simply not the time
for tomorrow wont be heaven.
but im sitting alone
my mind stormed with images.
its quietly simple
that i just dont have the answer.
i lied to everyone
except one nicely hidden person.
someone you'd never know
again, isit love or infatuation?
im longed for the day
when i'll whisper into your ear.
where i can pour out my secrets
and all my held up tears.
someday that day will come.
i hope im not hurdling my O's
in view, in anticipation.
in foolish dreaming and painting the perfect picture.
im too young for love.
even i know that myself.
but this stubborn antagonistic heart
wouldnt bid its dreams away.
its a few hours more
before Hell starts.
if only if you were here, slowly counting down.
even such fear would've been dispelled.
i write a poem tonight.
bidding farewell to the halcyon days.
hopefully hopefully
someday i'll say...
welcome back, my halcyon days.
to be writing poems.
its simply not the time
for tomorrow wont be heaven.
but im sitting alone
my mind stormed with images.
its quietly simple
that i just dont have the answer.
i lied to everyone
except one nicely hidden person.
someone you'd never know
again, isit love or infatuation?
im longed for the day
when i'll whisper into your ear.
where i can pour out my secrets
and all my held up tears.
someday that day will come.
i hope im not hurdling my O's
in view, in anticipation.
in foolish dreaming and painting the perfect picture.
im too young for love.
even i know that myself.
but this stubborn antagonistic heart
wouldnt bid its dreams away.
its a few hours more
before Hell starts.
if only if you were here, slowly counting down.
even such fear would've been dispelled.
i write a poem tonight.
bidding farewell to the halcyon days.
hopefully hopefully
someday i'll say...
welcome back, my halcyon days.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
lalala.
ok thats it.
record breaking posting less than a week before O's
harh harh ha.
well ok anyway.....
i was just suddenly considering to get into poly
and again its my mum's fault because she suddenly gave ideas
like i should go for mass comm.
and appear on tv everyday, get to do overseas reports ( free trips? wow)
but then again, thats if i ever get outstanding enough.
but then again (again) im outstanding.
hahaha. nonsense.
well if i ever go poly. i thought this out in half an hour.
i will get a 1+k job for the first 3 months.
get clothes and laptop.
when i have time i will read and improve my england
eh i meant english. see my england, no, english, sucks..
haah. well.
poly has alot of temptations, like mel (not nuff) said.
all the guys have got porn in their lappies.
like thats the ultimate unimaginable thing.
i thought people only surfed porn?
haah
well pitty the girls.
isnt it sad that when your classmates look at you
and if you look good you'd be imagined without clothes?
then again, good looking and eligible guys dont watch porn.
so girls will never have their luck run dry!
ok back to the poly issue.
poly will be.. money.
money will be a problem.
im having headaches abt what to wear when im only
you know. going out twice a week.
on saturdays and sundays.
ok now.
how abt.... going out everyday? (thats the push factor)
die. i would need at least... 3 jeans, and like 10 tops.
lol.
and i will need to gym to fit into t-shirts.
arrgh.
what the heck.
time to hit the books.
hard.
its a vendetta.
record breaking posting less than a week before O's
harh harh ha.
well ok anyway.....
i was just suddenly considering to get into poly
and again its my mum's fault because she suddenly gave ideas
like i should go for mass comm.
and appear on tv everyday, get to do overseas reports ( free trips? wow)
but then again, thats if i ever get outstanding enough.
but then again (again) im outstanding.
hahaha. nonsense.
well if i ever go poly. i thought this out in half an hour.
i will get a 1+k job for the first 3 months.
get clothes and laptop.
when i have time i will read and improve my england
eh i meant english. see my england, no, english, sucks..
haah. well.
poly has alot of temptations, like mel (not nuff) said.
all the guys have got porn in their lappies.
like thats the ultimate unimaginable thing.
i thought people only surfed porn?
haah
well pitty the girls.
isnt it sad that when your classmates look at you
and if you look good you'd be imagined without clothes?
then again, good looking and eligible guys dont watch porn.
so girls will never have their luck run dry!
ok back to the poly issue.
poly will be.. money.
money will be a problem.
im having headaches abt what to wear when im only
you know. going out twice a week.
on saturdays and sundays.
ok now.
how abt.... going out everyday? (thats the push factor)
die. i would need at least... 3 jeans, and like 10 tops.
lol.
and i will need to gym to fit into t-shirts.
arrgh.
what the heck.
time to hit the books.
hard.
its a vendetta.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
|
ok screw... why go any take tests?
tomorrow physics pract.. better not let me catch you sitting around the computer!
"no worries, i wont let you catch me"
leaving'
i know, i already know that i will be feeling BAD
after O's.
nope, its nothing abt studies, abt not getting A1s or book prizes.
its just that..
really.. the year came and is now passing.
everything changes, but due to the desire to see things change,
i myself remained unchanged.
there were so many things i should've stood up for.
so many opportunities i should've grapsed.
so many times when a leader was needed and i just watch things collapse.
so many times a constructive word was demanded...
but i just left.
so MANY more times God gave me the chance.
to mend broken ties, to give others the chance.
so many times i would argue back.
"Lord whatever, this is not my problem"
as i think, it hurts and it throbs..
i always thought i'd be the last one to survive
and i'll be ready and quick to lay down my life.
but no, if i saw deeper, i think i simply lacked love.
love uh? love.
reminds me of family.
my family...
my aunts and uncles are all @#%## people.
but my family is really the role model.
sometimes it scares me.
for i think im incapable of continuing such immense legacy.
would i be able to love my kids in the future, like how my parents loved me?
and if i do... why would that be?
lets not talk abt the future. start now with your diminishing classmates.
God says to have no compromising...
gguuuh... what am i thinking...
why would i want to hate?
why would i want to lust?
why would i want to sow discord...
what do i gain from verbal victories?
!!!
funny. i thought tomrrow's physics practical?
also.. sleeping 3 hours in the afternoon doesnt make me invulnerable?
time bades me to leave.
and indeed i shall.
some things are better settled before you take exams uhh..
go, and do, quickly...
love?
we know it, but sometimes we just dont know how to...
replicate it in perfection.
in the truth.
in our own image and style.
goodness, just ask God will ya?
after O's.
nope, its nothing abt studies, abt not getting A1s or book prizes.
its just that..
really.. the year came and is now passing.
everything changes, but due to the desire to see things change,
i myself remained unchanged.
there were so many things i should've stood up for.
so many opportunities i should've grapsed.
so many times when a leader was needed and i just watch things collapse.
so many times a constructive word was demanded...
but i just left.
so MANY more times God gave me the chance.
to mend broken ties, to give others the chance.
so many times i would argue back.
"Lord whatever, this is not my problem"
as i think, it hurts and it throbs..
i always thought i'd be the last one to survive
and i'll be ready and quick to lay down my life.
but no, if i saw deeper, i think i simply lacked love.
love uh? love.
reminds me of family.
my family...
my aunts and uncles are all @#%## people.
but my family is really the role model.
sometimes it scares me.
for i think im incapable of continuing such immense legacy.
would i be able to love my kids in the future, like how my parents loved me?
and if i do... why would that be?
lets not talk abt the future. start now with your diminishing classmates.
God says to have no compromising...
gguuuh... what am i thinking...
why would i want to hate?
why would i want to lust?
why would i want to sow discord...
what do i gain from verbal victories?
!!!
funny. i thought tomrrow's physics practical?
also.. sleeping 3 hours in the afternoon doesnt make me invulnerable?
time bades me to leave.
and indeed i shall.
some things are better settled before you take exams uhh..
go, and do, quickly...
love?
we know it, but sometimes we just dont know how to...
replicate it in perfection.
in the truth.
in our own image and style.
goodness, just ask God will ya?
Sunday, October 07, 2007
dust
snEEZE!
yeah. you know what happened.
the usual excuse to vindicate myself from all blame
for not tending to the blog for ages.
oh the last time, i left here on some emo crap.
well now, lets emo a little more.
as i continue to talk about how it was a really weird graduation
or thanksgiving whatever...
well.
firstly. tallk abt the mood.
i didnt feel sad.- maybe i should be sad abt not feeling sad though
oh i didnt take enough photos. and i prolly wont get the chance to anymore.
i didnt do enough stupid things.
the stupidest being splurging in macs after the whole thing.
i didnt get motivated, i didnt have a spur to care more.
i was just having all the
screw and get over and done attitude.
i was just thinking abt how joy (surname excluded)
shouldnt have said some stuff to jeremy, and abt how
she and her piercing voice never suited worship leading.
but then again.
i dont care.
im feeling so... indifferent.
so damned
so screwed. so unfeeling.
so cold so heartless.
so unforgiving, so hard.
so blind, so deaf
so neglecting
so ...
i dont know. it just feels like.
a year has passed. nothing's changed.
prospects are still as they were as i left them october last year.
the sense of hopelessness if overwhelming.
im emotionally, mentally devastated.
im sick of acting.
im sick of not acting either,.
im sick of being unable to get to my point directly.
i want people to know.
but i dont know who should
and as of now no one qualifies.
sometimes... i dont even tell God, cauz i'll just say.
"you already know it all" grudgingly.
im crazy, im back sliding
im falling away im rotting away.
i dont know what im doing, i dotn know what im saying.
i just know that...
i gtg.
yeah. you know what happened.
the usual excuse to vindicate myself from all blame
for not tending to the blog for ages.
oh the last time, i left here on some emo crap.
well now, lets emo a little more.
as i continue to talk about how it was a really weird graduation
or thanksgiving whatever...
well.
firstly. tallk abt the mood.
i didnt feel sad.- maybe i should be sad abt not feeling sad though
oh i didnt take enough photos. and i prolly wont get the chance to anymore.
i didnt do enough stupid things.
the stupidest being splurging in macs after the whole thing.
i didnt get motivated, i didnt have a spur to care more.
i was just having all the
screw and get over and done attitude.
i was just thinking abt how joy (surname excluded)
shouldnt have said some stuff to jeremy, and abt how
she and her piercing voice never suited worship leading.
but then again.
i dont care.
im feeling so... indifferent.
so damned
so screwed. so unfeeling.
so cold so heartless.
so unforgiving, so hard.
so blind, so deaf
so neglecting
so ...
i dont know. it just feels like.
a year has passed. nothing's changed.
prospects are still as they were as i left them october last year.
the sense of hopelessness if overwhelming.
im emotionally, mentally devastated.
im sick of acting.
im sick of not acting either,.
im sick of being unable to get to my point directly.
i want people to know.
but i dont know who should
and as of now no one qualifies.
sometimes... i dont even tell God, cauz i'll just say.
"you already know it all" grudgingly.
im crazy, im back sliding
im falling away im rotting away.
i dont know what im doing, i dotn know what im saying.
i just know that...
i gtg.
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