Views on the repeal of 377A

The debate over the 377A in penal code has reached what is properly considered "fever pitch" in Singapore as of the time of writing.

As a Christian living in Singapore I find myself in some sort of a dilemma. Some sort, because I don't really feel the pressure of the dilemma, neither do I consider both sides equally compelling at the point of writing.

The caveat is practical, not in principle. I think that I do not comprehend the extent to which persecutions will come and how my life could change as I turn to weather the obstacles (or to surrender, gasp) and so for now I am inclined to say that it should be repealed.

My reasons for not going against the repeal are simple:
1. There is no basis for a secular society to consider homosexuals as criminals. Even the bible does encourage the church to ensure that they are considered as such.
2. The church should not be too eager to avoid coming persecution by branding persons as criminals as they are not.
3. Following from that, it is not our right to worry about the rest of the slippery slope either, if the solution is to continue to keep the law that criminalizes homosexuals.

On the other hand, in the midst of these discussions, I do want to say that there is a tendency for the society to patronize religious people.

Regarding the repeal and the slippery slope, it has merit because we are witnessing it unfold in other countries, where Christian bakers, pastors, all forms of service providers are being penalized for refusing homosexual business.
The thing that irks me the most is homosexuals insisting to have a wedding in a church, and for a pastor to solemnize it for them. Behind it all there's this simple skeptical attitude that the existence of God has already been decided (or rather, non-existence) and that religious people are just having their little parties, believing in fancy things in their own leisure, and should not take their religious convictions too seriously.

And why the hell should anyone be allowed to think or talk like that.

I really hope that the Singaporean government will have a bigger mind to see that this is going to be an issue and take serious precautions to not walk in the path of Canada and America.

But seriously, why should anyone have such confidence in a secular institution.

Review of "A Quiet Place"

This movie is set in a dystopian future where jaded teachers have evolved into sound-sensitive murderous monsters.

Although incredibly blind, they have a very keen sense for unnatural sounds, which draws them towards their prey.

The sheep and the goats

Pastor Goh preached a sermon on Matthew 25:31-45 yesterday at the last service of the year.

As he was preaching, I was led to discover one thing about the verses that I had not noticed before. In these verses both the righteous and the unrighteous responded to Jesus "When did we see you..." and previously I thought the similarity was just a device to draw the parallel and never thought too much about it.

Reading it yesterday I noticed that the statement actually exquisitely expressed the respective attitudes of the righteous and the unrighteous.

For the righteous they were really puzzled. They are searching their memory and simply did not have an inkling of when they had served Jesus personally. Sure, they had served many people in their lives, but surely none of them could have been the Lord?

For the unrighteous the question betrays their false piety. The statement "when did we see you" really means "if we did see you we would have served you", revealing that they had a willingness to serve the Lord, but a willingness that was an abomination because it did not accompany a willingness to serve people in need.

And so Jesus interestingly concludes that whatever they did not do for the least of his brothers, they have not done it for him. If we do not serve the people around us, we do not serve the Lord.

This point came through saliently when Pastor Goh reminded us that God has no need for us to serve Him. If we think about it, most of what He has commanded us to do is to serve His people. Therefore, people who would "reserve" themselves to serve the Lord, abstaining from helping his neighbour so as to devote himself to his religious duties, such as the levite and the priest in the good Samaritan story, is actually not serving the Lord... you could say they were just serving themselves.

Slothfulness?

Just want to dwell on this for awhile before I get on with my day.

I've been waking up at 10am or so every day recently. While it is true that I've also being going to bed late, at 1am or so, there is this incredible lethargy that has taken hold of me lately.

At least, I know that my plan to come up with Social Studies resources has faced significant setback. I barely achieved anything all week.

I cannot tell if it's related to my sickness, I'm certain that it plays a part, be it large or small.

But if anything, it is this that I am sick with. When I pause to reflect on myself I feel myself coming face to face with this gargantuan apathy. I feel like there's just nothing I really care about anymore.

I hit the books, searching for answers. Things jump at me, and they fade away as my fingers switch tabs back to youtube, or whatever other website with news, with technology, with reviews.

I think it was until I revisited this line from an Anime I used to watch.
"There is no shortcut to anything."

And I think I kind of get it. Maybe I've really been sitting around and waiting for that thing that will stir me into action.
But I'm mistaken. What I really need now is the grit my teeth and follow through.

I got to get my ass to school.

It is Well

I think I haven't been doing that great.

Sometimes I feel like even after the whole tragedy in August I'm still barely awake, still stuck in some sort of childish disposition.

 Still unsure if what I have is love, selfishness or idolatry.

Still stumbling over the same sins, at the same times for the same reasons.

It's very frustrating to think about it because I feel further away from my goals.
And at that moment I feel further still, because I know now that my priorities in life are wrong and they are leading me down dangerous paths.

The goals.

Something fundamental has to change about me. In my desperation I prayed to God to afflict me, for I did not turn towards Him when His face was shining on me.

Wound me so that I'll return 

I don't want to be like a fool who is stumbling towards slaughter.

Am I ashamed?

The canteen conversation diverted towards me all of a sudden. They were curious to know if I were attached. As the conversation went on it became apparent to one of the teachers that I am a Christian, mainly because of some "odd relationship rules" that only Christians would entertain. 

"Which fucking church are you from?"

The conversation then shifted away from me, as quickly as it had shifted towards me. Soon we found ourselves discussing organised religion. 

Now, pardon the vulgarities, but there aren't many teachers quite as human, as caring and compassionate as this colleague of mine. As a teacher, he is a deviant ideal, not remotely a poster boy of MOE, but nothing a discerning principal would fault. I have immense respect for this guy. 

And perhaps that was why I couldn't stand up to him. He makes the least sense when he discusses religion. He'd reach a certain level but lack the criticality to go beyond the common tropes that people would always take out and slam. But as the words rolled off his tongue, I couldn't find any confidence in myself to speak. 

Was it the intimidation? Was it the respect? Was it the fear of being ridiculed, of being classified as "yet another specimen of the fools in religion" that held me back? 

Or perhaps I agreed with him tacitly. 

Perhaps I do agree that I find it hard to understand why so many good and kind persons in this world are somehow on a march towards hell. Yes, the entrance into heaven has always been an unsettled area. 

Perhaps I was reeling from the guilt, from the realisation that I do not care about the people around me with that sort of passion that he has. I do not actually care that they are going to hell, I do not meditate on the tragedy until my heart breaks. 

But clearly he does. When he mentioned that his wife is a Buddhist, the wife with whom he is still so madly in love with, he can feel the immense loss and sense of injustice if someone as wonderful as she is, by human standards, was to be denied from the gates of heaven while some slimy Christian (who could be me) would make it. 

My character, my experience, my emotional investment barely matched his. Where was my place to speak? I cannot tell if I were guilty as charged or simply ashamed of the gospel. 

If anything, I think I have failed 1 Peter 3:15, being caught unprepared to give an account of the hope that is in me for the things that I have been entrusted through the teachings of the church. 

To be honest, I feel intimidated, lost. How do I face these giants? What defense shall I give? What helpful word can I say? 

One Step At a Time

Was reading an article today and came across this quote

"Alas my rebellious heart—what a tempest agitates me! I knew not that I had made so little progress in a spirit of resignation to the Divine will."

As the writer, Henry Martyn reflected on the way his emotions were stirred to hear that the love of his life was not permitted to join him in missions in India, he realised how little he has come to actualise "not my will but Yours be done" in his life.

I think that the recent episode has shown me that I know little about God being my treasure. I think that it has alerted me to the fact that I don't yet truly know that marriage is not to be pursued like a missing part of our lives.

Although I assent to all the ideas above, in reality I understand them so little. Am I not ashamed when I discuss them matter-of-factly in church?

Nonetheless this is the plan. I shall deal cruelly with any sexual sin that remains in my life. With renewed eyes (because those who are pure will see God), I shall peer into the next few steps of my life.

I think... that's really just it for now. No concrete plans about her. No concrete plans about... romance.

and I want to read more biographies too.