valentine's

There's nothing much to talk about over chinese new year. On one hand I've already prepared answers to the standard questions they will ask.. thinking of how to change the trivia-question-esque greetings into proper conversations... but aside from that... and.

and that I've already received some red packets, not red herrings I hope.


So, I think I will muse about valentine's day instead.

For the record, I haven't been out on a date on valentine's before, a good thing I suppose since an accidental conversation revealed that most girls make a big deal out of it. If they say yes, you better not be toying them or innocently going out as friends with them- that I've been warned.

So it seems that things should stay the same this year. Haven't you got a date tucky? Plenty to choose from. HA HA HA
But foolish to choose any.

Have I been kept safe these many years? Sure feels so.
Am I starting to make it a bigger deal? Yeah, and for the better too.

The picture's getting clearer, at least it won't be about becoming the talk of the week... like hey, did you know that he went out with so and so?
neither will it be about not becoming the talk of the week. I don't care if I spend it alone anymore.

So in some sense really assured and peaceful, in some sense really anxious. The more I make out of it the more... excited I become about meeting that day.

At this moment I'm about to whine about what I'll be doing instead, probably knee deep in open house matters... and then also, floorball and frisbee training.

Speaking of which, I dread it, dread the day of competition. Haven't improved much with my on-court anger management.
I heard the other colleges are even less forgiving. That they're bound to go all rough on us. I don't understand this rivalry, and I don't appreciate it.

At this moment it seems silly to say "I hope I don't get provoked". That's nonsense and wishful talk.
I know I'll be provoked and (if accurate), I will get angry.
ONLY..
²⁶ “In your anger do not sin”^[d]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ and do not give the devil a foothold.

to neither dwell on it or let it make a difference. 
To not slip into justifying reciprocal, vengeful plays. 

Ah but it will be far better if their provocations bounced off harmlessly! 
Oh that I will delight in You and make You my heart's desire.