Ever Ready

After frisbee, a hasty shower, a hearty dinner and then a peaceful return to my room.. and suddenly everything goes wrong. It's the kind of situation where I falsely assume that people are fine with me.

And so, kickboxing had empty slots today and the turn up was so contemptible they were looking for people to fill in the spaces. As words flew in the whatsapp conversation, I had to say something wrong, as usual.

This friend casually rejected the offer for kickboxing by musing about how free the rest of us appeared to be. Funny, I took it seriously and in defending every other busy person, I said
"It's not true"
"make time"

And to think anyone can take offence at that.

And so a new conversation emerged, a private confrontation of sorts.
The accusations kept coming as I replied. I was allegedly attempting to guilt trip and was very insensitive.

And as they came old memories were retrieved for me. Of how a previous incident landed me in much trouble... and how to avoid making things awkward I bit the bullet and took the blame.
A repeat of that? It was starting to make me angry.

And then I stop and a question surfaces.
Have you considered Christ?

I don't know dear Lord. I don't have the appetite for it. I don't feel like being the better guy. I don't feel like accommodating someone else's hypersensitivity. I feel like asking them to shut up, to stop packaging something absurd in pretty words or reasonable propositions.
I haven't even begun to question why I was offended. I don't even feel like thinking about why my memories remained so fresh. I don't even know why I ask "why?" as though I had reasons to assume that such things ought not happen today.

But right now I'm about to reply. Please soften this heart. Please help me love.
Help me be ever ready.