honesty

A while ago I was having lunch with this friend. She was recounting her moment of brief, but intense friendship with an exchange student.

I'm sure I was frowning to a certain extent throughout the whole conversation. It's some Asian grievance, I would say. It's the sort of ego that leaps up and shouts aha! You whites aren't that great after all! How does it feel to come to terms with that? How does it feel to be both minority and not distinguished?

Suspicion wells up in my heart whenever they speak about our culture and how it's all-so-interesting. It jolts back memories of lessons learnt during South East Asian studies of how the colonial "masters" documented our culture and history and made museums and everything. It was a soft tool of power...

And when they descend, visiting our culture, I wonder what goes on in their heads. Is there some condescension when our culture fascinates? Do they liken it to the tribal people... in the way that their backwardness is the very substance of fascination?
In the way that makes ridiculous or amusing a better word?

And then she mentioned about the dude's opinion of why the locals here do not interest themselves in making friends with the exchange students.

They probably don't see any value in investing in such a short term friendship.
Very thoughtful.

A thought surfaces in my head...
He didn't say that exchange students do not interest themselves in making friends with the locals because they know that as soon as they leave, these friendships lose their instrumentalism.. right?

If only we were all a lot more aware. It isn't one sided. It is really 2 sided isn't it?

And I shudder. It's not like me to forsake idealism. I would have thought...
that even if this is happening, it shouldn't be the case.

but in parting, I simply said
"I guess the only solution is to accept this as reality. The sooner we know, the better."
and felt wise about saying it.