Fit for ministry

After attending today's workshop, what can I say?

I'll say I feel horribly inadequate.
I'll say... I feel quite down.
I'll say I feel quite upset, with the flippant way I've lived my life.

God what can I say?

I'll say have mercy on me.
I'll say, provide for your ministry.
I'll say, help me.
I'll say, guide me.

I'll say I'm sorry.

For how I've been... working the bare minimum, for how I'll always be chasing after the butterflies in my life.

If I wake up tomorrow and life continues to be the same, let me drop dead and live no more.