"Thus says the LORD: "Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD.""
Hi C, you wondered why I haven't blogged. I think I didn't really know the reason, but now I catch a glimpse of it.
Life has been far too smooth sailing. There was nothing to blog about.
But today there is. For the shock I could not express (talking to you is so enjoyable it creates this euphoria that everything's okay), I spill it now.
I found my source of discomfort and it is remarkable that I find it in a verse from which many find comfort instead.
You see, the Lord delights in people understanding and knowing Him. In people with eyes and appetite to take in and make much of the love, justice and righteousness God displays in the earth.
Yeah so it seems odd that we should insult God by thinking that his delight in us diminishes when we under perform in something as peripheral as our academic results. Then I realise that... we cannot assume to know the Lord. Too many too quickly find comfort in what can be a terrifying verse.
Unwilling to continue my folly, I shall not be foolishly comforted. I don't want to think: oh, I haven't done well but God delights in knowing Him so I guess He still delights in me.
Does He? Is He pleased... because have I lived my life reflecting the knowing of Him?
I'm afraid not!
There is not rest in this for me! There is no escape.
I have to repent. I must repent for having not known the Lord. My results are but the symptoms, the real illness is not knowing Him.
Someday I will know the joy in this verse. Maybe a while later. Not now, or rather, not from under performing.
Disclaimer: I have reflected and of this I'm sure. I'm sure that my under performance is highly related to my attitude which stems from my understanding of God. The modules were neither difficult nor was saturday hard to remember. God does not desire for us to repent recklessly and so I don't.
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