I was helping out at this day care centre yesterday. Nope, this is not some reflection about the worth of daycare centers.. already done that, for official purposes.
This is nevertheless a reflection.
We were allocated about 3-4 rascals each. Real rascals they were. I still kind of remember their names.
There was this cute, but hyper little girl called bernecia. Following, there's a mixed blood girl called deena. Finally there's this boy called Li Heng.
All 3 of them were... ages 10 and below and I had an extremely tough time controlling them.
Anyways, our task was to create this brochure outlining the activities they enjoyed over the course of their holidays. Coming up with the list of activities was tough in itself, sourcing for pictures, newspaper cuttings and coming up with drawings to represent the activities were even tougher. That, plus the occasional squabbles to quell... and an obnoxious primary 6 to handle... made a hell of a job.
But though the start was shaky.. and bordered on getting me pissed off, we finally rolled into pace. The members, though so varied in age, began to agree on things and finally there was more fun than excruciation. But something hung at the back of my mind. It was some kind of... regret.
I regret that we were only getting along towards the end of the task... with little time left to enjoy the teamwork. I wondered if adults grow to become immune to such folly.
I don't think so.
At least, it isn't so with me.
With you, it has always been like this. It's the anticipation which builds expectations which often ends up in some degree of disappointment... and it's not very enjoyable until I come to my senses, which... i often take so long.
Then for the final fleeting hours I find what I was truly looking for. But the regret arrests me and I could not enjoy more.
If there's ever a reason I'd want to think less... It's so I avoid becoming my own prisoner.
I don't know why I've yet to hear from you... shall I think less about this too?
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