extrapolation

There's a sort of honesty with myself that I'm only learning recently. That is, to admit that I don't really like someone.

I owe this to an old friend, who tried to teach me the same thing repeatedly throughout my 2 years in JC. She'd say, why would you like someone like me? Now that I clearly don't anymore, I see it, in some sense, she knew me better than I knew myself.

There are things we don't particularly fancy in people and then there are also things we absolutely detest. Unfortunately these things are often only clearer in retrospect. In the present time I find my mind being very uncharacteristically unaware or forgetful about them. But these days I'm doing a much much better job of reminding myself.

It's not just things like interest now or things which feel promising, to be fun. It's not entertaining those quirky thoughts, a fleeting glimpse at how amusing a particular moment would be. It's a sober, calculated projection of my life ahead and the sort of person who would, not endure, but live it. Promises of patience, understanding...nah. It's the main course, you may hate the soup or you may not fancy a dessert, but don't put up with the main course for the periphery.

It sounds almost silly but it takes a lot of courage to say, "come on, that's not the right one. Now move on along."

Or maybe you can say it takes a lot of faith.