Try something new

Recently I've been thinking if I can radically reform my perspective on the use of my time.
If I may live a happier life if I carelessly spend my time every now and then, while being disciplined to sleep early on my weekday nights.

To spend some time in ways I would not previously, such as visiting a friend at a camp in the late hours of night, or sending some friends off at the airport early next day.
For now, it feels right. This life can really change if I substituted the old habits of time wasting for these new habits of expending my time.

In other news, I'm pretty glad about how last nights meeting went. I think we now have a workable solution for fellowship, though its implementation is no less tricky.
I think it also revealed to me some intentions behind my plan which weren't apparent to me. Some poor intentions.
The new implementation: reforming the groupings and letting the "right groupings" emerge organically is going to be so tedious to explain and so awkward in implementation. But okay, no more buts. Let's go get our hands dirty.

I wrote a note on my meeting notes yesterday. It says, "pray".
Do you know? Prayer is very telling about how much exactly a Christian cares about something (if he is any proper Christian). I realize that the things I really want God to accomplish are the ones I think about often. When I think of them I feel overwhelmed by my own powerlessness to achieve them and I quickly withdraw to pray.

However, there are things I'm supposed to care about, things like prayer requests entrusted by others to me, things like church, fellowship, friends who have yet to believe, mission trips etc. these things rarely occupy my mind.
And I don't have any persevering prayers for them either. I think it is no surprise, then, that they are not answered. For starters, it is apparent that I don't really want them and so... never truly prayed for them. Sometimes I remember them before bedtime but I'd give it a skip because I'd rather go to sleep.

So there are things we naturally pray at lengths for, and things we actually don't care about. However, I strongly believe that if we first, albeit unnaturally, pray consistently, God comes to our assistance by impressing the matter on our hearts so that we are able to pray persistently.

And so it shall be with fellowship. How will it be done dear Lord? I do not know but I'll not only ask once. I will ask and You will answer.