late hours;

this is pretty cool, after a refreshing bath...
i decided to check if anyone had left interesting posts..
just before we went aimlessly into..
the cold-blooded heartless battlefield.

one such battlefield.. maybe we'd be putting aside friendships
maybe BGR. maybe... relationship with God?
and we're just... crashing around.
defending ourselves with the unsound?

i dont know.

well. im the only person romantic enough to be writing something beforeO's are finally in town.

no i dont want it to be in town
i rather we lived in kampongs and my girlfriend's next door.
and our church is just right in the center and
me and my ah-bangs and khakis are just gonna.
run around, play sepak tekraw, catching, roll in the mud.
pit our insects against the other, and then just laugh and forget.

i rather my brains be filled with wondrous memories, whether happy or sad./
rather than the cold, mute formulaes which
keep yelling and screaming back at me.

i rather be learnt in appretiating God regardless of my condition
rather than even hitting the fringes of how the world works.
well ok. since i said that already.
lets start by appretiation NOw.

but im complacent, i cant.
make O levels past and i'll thank you OK?

im lying i always forget.
i can remember to ask, but never to reciprocate.
i can say i wish for peace
and yet be throwing my nukes and bombs

i just cant stop my fanatical rage of hurting God.
God please disarm me
i keep asking, overwrite the freewill.
just enslave me keep me from sin.

but im being selfish, im being lazy.
im telling God.
look even the free salvation am i lazy to get.
even your assistance i much enlarge like crap.
i dont want help, i dont want blessings.
just make me a zombie who follows blindly.

but you want me to know what im doing.
you want and desire my choice.
and so even when i keep saying that i dont want to choose...
Lord please make you my choice.

im freaking tired with my little campaigns.
im ashamed of how loose i became.
guide me back now into your protection and care.
and let me sleep like a sheep in your hands...
with blessings more than spare can spare.