light is perception

when i see my friends, all doing so well
going for international stuff
have their hand in music,
have beautifully crafted vocal chords.
blissful love "utter-special" attention
light hearted msn nicks.
studying is like no-kick.

it gives me a reason to dwell deep in self pity, right?
i mean everyone is made special, unique
but like how light drowns light,
how unique you are can be made bland by other's
its no longer you, its about the rest
its about how much you can shine
your performance in meager class tests.

i look at how gina looks so happy
or how torsten gets into the
global youth blah blah conference thing
i pain when i see a guitar strummed.
or music which by a piano, is a beautifully written

i get contented at playing badminton
comforted by the fact i could beat them - no sweat
but wheres the point, my skills aren't even trainee
their just like a beng class hopeless player.
there is nothing much to be proud off in succeeding the odd
who cares about that graceful Frisbee,
that exciting badminton.
who cares about gaming on the computer
and coming up with weird logics?

there is no point really
and i hate self pity
but i wont deny that it had drowned me.