It's very saddening to notice the difference in reaction.
We had a really long and intense meeting today about the future of youth ministry in church (which incidentally, when taken to its logical conclusion, was about the future of church).
The goal is so far from where we are now... and the steps to take already seeming costly and effortful.
On the way home my friend commented on how exciting it is, for we are at the clasp of change.
My heart on the other hand was just fearful. Honestly, even I am not too sure of why I am afraid.
It could be because I'm currently really busy with deadlines in school and it has had an effect on me.
Maybe it's because I don't love the youths enough, that I'd calculate the cost so unwillingly.
I said this many times before and it still rings true, ministry has never been about the lack of direction. My experience has been that of abundant direction but lacking of heart.
God please anoint my eyes that I may see.
Help me to look beyond myself oh I'm always stuck at the level of self-concern.
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