I think the highlight of my year is you, C. How you saw me through the busy first half with open house and all the level 3000 craziness. How you inspired me to search the scriptures so I would have something with which to encourage you when you are down. Again, the thought of which makes me wonder if I like you any less or worse, if my relationship with God has somehow imploded on itself.
And my friends would attribute the change to you. They would
say that I’ve kicked back and become more friendly and cheerful. My church
friends would claim that I’ve grown to be more gentle and caring, slower to
anger and aggression.
But strangely, our decision on 24th to be friends…
added a new facet to this change. Now I feel my heart is broader, I feel myself
quicker to offer help to others. I feel free, liberated to be the best that I
can be.
Sometimes I look back and frown. You seem to have grown so
dependent on me. But can things turn out any differently between couples? I
frown again, I seem to be missing something.
Right now I’m loving being single and free, but I won’t be
forever. I thank you for everything you brought with your presence and also the
parting gift. I’m thinking hard to make sense of it all and how they came to
be.
I begin 2014 fearful, helpless. I pray that God finds me in
this helplessness and woos me with his love and gentleness. May I be won as the
year begins and won forever.
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