letter

some days ago i was sitting on a boat.
The seat was really uncomfortable, with the foam under the sheets all worn out
and bits and pieces were scattered on the floor beneath it.
i was with my family and no, i wasn't on a cruise.
I was on a humble boat on my way to tekong to send my brother into army.

Seated somewhere at a corner, i saw another family...
that guy.. he had a really fine looking girlfriend.
So for the next 5 mins, i projected images of girls i knew into the nearly empty cabin scene.
and from the lot of them, i figured: you.

The next few months are months we're all well acquainted with.
Today, i received my enlistment.

A torrent of re-regrets surged in my mind as my dad mentioned regarding the 4 spaces provided for members of family.
I always figured i can take you on the boat, because my brother likely cannot make it.
Everyone knows, but not everyone admits, the unwanted power of emotions.
I can see it already, as i walk along the piers to the boat, alone.. as the idea of sailing alone dominates my mind,
I will be so down there'll be no turning back for me.
If things reach there, maybe.. maybe..