mixed feelings

you know, the moment you replied
"i miss asshole too" on monday, this question surfaced in my mind..
Is this another period of stress and vulnerability.. that makes you come back to me?
Do you actually still like me, or have you forgotten me?

Did you know that, a long time ago, before we started..
my oddly acute 6th sense told me not to proceed.
I could tell that things wont so easy.. but this time, i want to put my faith in you again
I really wish that things are as simple as they can be.

2 days have passed and for 2 times you slept so close to me
2 instances you were vulnerable and 2 instances i kept my grounds..
You'd say im decent and you respect me..
But you know.. i really wonder if my decency has been costing my chances..

When we were in the cinema today and you held my hands...
when your helplessness resurfaced again..
I could recall why i liked you in the first place.
But when it happened again and again, i could feel this pollutive emotion rising within..
and so i pushed your hands away.

I know you're a sensible girl.. so you must've felt it too.

I know that we're neither ready (and i feel you probably dont want to anymore ): )
But i really want you to know..
that i really want you.