Sometimes i speculate the reasons for why I'm who I am today.

I say to some "oh im clever because.. well i used to go library twice a week to read reference books!"
and to some "oh, i don't know?"

But tonight i think i know.
Its because i dread being THE loser.
I dread it so hard it keeps me working to improve, to impress.

Perhaps thats why i got so sad
perhaps thats why i even got mad.

You know, you should know.