New Resolve

Have I been living too recklessly, paying little attention to what's been happening in my life? Perhaps. I was rather troubled by this thought today as we were in a cab, on our way home. The rain was beating heavily and we passed by this industrial area in paya lebar.

I worked there for a bit, as I recall, when I was in J1 because I had been trying to get money to buy a crumpler. I did the math and figured that working 5 days under my uncle would get me about 150 dollars which would have allowed me to choose between the bigger and the smaller crumpler.

Those were strange days I think, I was quickly done in by the dust at the warehouse and I was feeling weak and feverish. I dreaded going back there and that mounted day after day. I left work mid-way on the third day because my body finally couldn't take it.

I still remember drinking Pokka blueberry tea as a substitute for water because there was no water dispenser there. I remember hiding in the air-conditioned office when my uncle wasn't around. Looking back now, I was a rather lazy worker, skiving whenever I could....

and that got me thinking now, it got me considering if I've forgotten to count the little things in my life that has added up to the person I am today.

So today I just want to say that I'm glad that I backtracked to buy tissues from the uncle at Ang Mo Kio. I'm glad that I made myself say "happy new year" to him. I think I did it sincerely too, though I cannot tell if he cared for it.

I also think that I did try to be a little more patient with my mother, although I was certainly not as gentle as I could have been. She's always a little jittery during Chinese New Year, suggesting odd things and behaving out of character. I think I will only understand these things when I'm older. There's probably some stress associated with going back to your family every year, perhaps every year you want to show them that you married the right person, that you are blessed with good kids, that you made the right decisions...

Finally I think I did a good job engaging Norman in a short conversation, he is now the husband of my cousin. It's clear that he still has a long way to go before he fits in, I think I can do more for him next year.