We were discussing this topic on Saturday during choir and I found it to be quite the fruitful discussion.
As always, barely moments after I learn a new thing I find myself being put to the test.
You see, having nothing really structured to do during holidays is a really bad thing.
In the bible we see that idleness is fertile grounds for disobedience.
So after a full day of failure, Saturday's discussion finally came to mind in the night.
I suppose I'm really not well practiced in the contemplation of the joy of salvation.
Namely, I'm not quite glad or impressed with the fact that I am saved.
Not quite excited about the process of sanctification whereby each trial and temptation is my path is an opportunity to choose God and say no.
Not quite tantalised by the prospect of service for which I am saved. Not busying myself to serve better after God has redeemed our license to serve him.
It's in moments like these when... I don't feel like I'm much of a Christian at all.
I'm barely being one, if I can be said to be even trying.
What was it that I said to my friend the other day about a crucial mark of a Christian?
Contrition.
Yes, contrition, feeling sorry about our rebellion and imperfection.
A heart that is broken, quick and willing to repent. That's what it's supposed to be.
When I was speaking to my friend about this I still felt the strongest of convictions that this is true and in some ways I've attained it.
After which perhaps I've been sitting on my laurels.
Oh God help me to desire these things. Make me a man who is eager to face challenges and steely to overcome.
I'm sick of being a small boy.
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