It's always been my dream to be part of some production, one where I may really let myself go and act, sing and dance. I think I'd enjoy such a thing.
Yet on a second thought (and this thought always comes), I want to prove myself. For all the people who think I'm not up to it... for all the people who may treasure me more if they see me as talented..
This second thought mars the otherwise innocent ambition.
But I musn't forget what I set out to do, the conversation over supper still rings in my head. How does one feel strongly for something just a week ago and stumble over and make such huge mistakes a week after? I shouldn't have turned up for the audition. What was I thinking?
Maybe at least now I know what I am rejecting. Previously I kept myself away from it... but I had no idea what I was missing out on. Now I do, and the loss of it is obvious to me now.
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