what really matters

Someone posted this question to me on Facebook:
How's uni?

Interesting question because I have a complex answer to offer. I simply cannot decide if it is good or bad.
Anyway, if you asked me I'd say I've been bungling along, being incredibly tardy with my work. I've been turning up for lectures without printing the handouts, reaching tutorials without completing readings. Coping spontaneously, every lesson's a scare to me.

At this juncture some will start assuming that I'm struggling with school. They'll try some words of encouragement.. usually by telling me that university's like such or.. that there's still time to change.

Yeah, but you see, my bungling along has not prevented me from coping better than most of my peers.
I'm doing okay in University, short os saying I'm doing well so far. But I still agree, there's time and need to change.

I shouldn't be changing because I'm not coping. I am coping. It just bugs me that... I'm living in a manner unworthy of my calling as a MOE scholar (secular reason of course), or simply as a student privileged enough to make it into a university in Singapore.
I want to start living worthy. I want to watch less youtube videos and squander less of my time sitting idle before facebook. I want to read and enjoy reading. I want opinions and I want articulation. If possible I even want to grow to love sociology (because that shit is so bad right now).

I'm moving along in a tardy fashion but I'm coping.
But that doesn't matter.